First off, if you’re a public relations representative working in the travel industry, please stop reading this right now. Close this screen and go check HARO or something. Because I’m about to reveal a secret that will make you think that I’m one of those picky, annoying travel writers (you know the type). And you’ll also find out that I’m a liar. Yes, that’s right, I’m about to blow my own cover. Give myself away. Undermine my own interests for the sake of a travel blog post.
(That’s the problem with travel writers. We can’t keep our own secrets. It’s a good thing I’ve never committed murder because if I had, I’d eventually find a way to confess right in the middle of an all-inclusive hotel review.)
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OK, so now that we’ve gotten rid of anyone who might have the power to blacklist me from all future press trips, I can tell you about the lie I’ve started telling on press trips: I tell people that I’m not allowed to eat uncooked meat or fish of any kind. But I really can.
Why go to the trouble to lie about such an inconsequential piece of personal information? Well, let me explain a bit about how press trips work. As a travel writer, I’m invited to participate in familiarization trips so that I can write articles, reviews and reports about destinations, hotels, attractions and activities. I stay in beautiful places and dine on exquisite cuisine. It’s a sweet gig and I love it.
Usually, while the trip is still in the planning stage, the organizers (usually public relations representatives, who are the most talented professionals you’d ever want to put together a trip) will ask me some basic questions, like where I’ll be flying from and if I have any dietary restrictions. I have none, so for the first two decades of my career, I always answered accordingly and honestly. Until I recently decided to get smart and start lying.
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The motivation for my dishonesty comes from a couple press trips I took over the past year or two. Hosts love to showcase their absolute best culinary experiences, and with good reason. But on one trip, the host organization’s enthusiasm skewed too far in one direction: raw meat. The itinerary went something like this:
• Lunch: you simply must try the ceviche! (I did, and it was excellent.)
• Dinner: this sushi will knock your socks off. (It did, in a good way.)
• The following day’s menu continued to wow with generous servings of raw tuna and more ceviche.
• The following day, well, there really are several different types of ceviche, did you know that? And how about some tartare?
Since these dishes were presented to me (on this particular trip I wasn’t ordering off the menu), I dutifully and appreciatively dove into every dish and enjoyed them thoroughly.
Until my stomach protested. As well as a few other parts of my body. I lost my spa appointment and most of the next day, for that matter.
When I texted one of the organizers to let her know I wouldn’t be making it out of my room that day, she responded “I’m so sorry, Mark. It may be because you’ve been eating so much raw meat and fish.”
Do you think?
I got over my malady, of course. But the very next press trip also featured multiple servings of raw fish and meat. I made it through that one (the quantities were a bit less), but realized I needed to do something. In neither case was this the fault of the public relations professionals, of course. They simply shared the fact that I had no dietary restrictions with the on-site people who were hosting me, and those hosts just got a big too enthusiastic about pushing the raw stuff.
It took until this year (I guess I’ve had more time to think things over since I was grounded by the pandemic for several months) for things to click. I should just be up front and advise trip organizers that I cannot eat raw meat. By being “up front” I mean lying, but you get the idea. It saves us all the added risk of an intestinal monkey wrench being thrown into our itineraries.
There are certain things that travelers can do to stay healthy when they travel. During the pandemic, those things include wearing a mask, practicing social distancing and washing hands frequently. You might also want to avoid tap water, ice and anything that’s been washed in water but not cooked. Raw meat and fish are also a potential item to avoid — at least in quantity.
Some people joke about “Montezuma’s revenge” and other illnesses that are supposedly specific to one nation or region. But none of my experiences are limited to one place. I’ve been curled around and atop some of the finest toilets in Austria, Colorado, Texas, Mexico and Ecuador, to name a few. These things can happen anywhere.
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I love ceviche and I love sushi. I’m OK with tartare as well. But when you travel, your body is exposed to elements that are far from the usual intake, and that can be a challenge to the system. I’m more than willing to sample some of those delicacies, but repeated servings at repeated meals on multiple days would be a test for even the strongest travel writer. And I can’t be sure that every organizer will be able to balance every menu.
And that’s why I lie to press trip organizers. So the next time you’re at some glamorous hotel restaurant, don’t be surprised if you find me hiding in a dark corner, ladling great quantities of ceviche into my mouth. If any travel industry people caught me enjoying it in public, they’d never trust me again. I’m so glad that all my PR friends stopped reading after the first paragraph.